If you are experiencing problems playing Flash content, please consider installing our official Newgrounds Player to continue enjoying this content indefinitely. Launch in Newgrounds Player. Author Comments. Newgrounds accounts are free and registered users see fewer ads! Sort By: Date Score. That was pretty good. Nice job! Like in all fighting games, they come from varied backgrounds and cultures.
There's a girl in a swimsuit and matching bird-shaped hat, a fat pro wrestler, a ballerina in her lingerie and a woman who's just wearing a snake. Unlike other games where they come together for the glory of victory or the conquering of some retarded combat-dimension-thing, the fighting spirit that binds these noble warrior souls together is the fact that most of their martial art techniques revolve around showing their panties to one other.
There were a lot of half-naked people already in Street Fighter 2 , so the actual game doesn't even seem unusually erotic. Yes, I understand there is something wrong with an industry when a group of women kicking the crap out of each other in thongs is totally normal, but fuck that; I'm not a sociologist. I'm just telling you that probably nothing in this game is going to turn you on until you win a picture of a naked girl.
If you can get off to this, I hope you're reading from inside something with a good lock on it. Unfortunately, that's when it gets a little bit creepy. Before the camera pans down her strategically blurred body, there's an inept attempt by the graphic artists to make it look like the girl's winking at you.
A stupid graphic of an eyelid slides over one eye then disappears. And I don't know if you've ever seen anyone wink without moving the rest of their face, but it looks less like flirting and more like a horrible sleepy-waky baby doll with a broken eyeball. You only earn pictures of naked women if you beat the game on a high level of difficulty, and the fact that each character has a total of three possible attacks makes it hard to keep your enemies guessing.
And Strip Fighter 2 's controls are so unresponsive, you usually can't tell which of the women you're supposed to be controlling. I forgot, am I the fatty or the bird-headed Indian? And more importantly, how in the name of balls can I masturbate to either? Since it's hard to stay awake through a whole fight, you can usually only tell if you've won if you get the terrifying winking naked woman afterward. In Burning Desire , you play the role of a naked air rescue worker swooping in to save a woman from cannibals.
She's tied to a pedestal and being slowly burned to death. For your daring rescue, you dangle yourself from a helicopter and drip the fire out with one of the two rod-shaped things jutting out of your pelvis.
I'm not a physiologist, but I'd like to think the one squirting all over the fire and the distressed lady's face is a fire hose and not a monstrous ejaculating penis, but because this was released as an ADULT game, I have a feeling we should all be pretty grossed out. Two things growing out of your groin, and both of them are longer than your legs.
Once you put out the fires that are cooking the woman alive, you lower yourself down to her. Her near-food experience didn't make her any less cock crazy, so she'll grab your previously unused, non-squirting rod with her mouth and hold on with her teeth as you fly away.
So if you're still trying to solve the mystery that the bad graphics have given us, you're either a rescue worker carrying a fire hose and airlifting a woman out mouth-first with your penis, or you have double the normal amount of reproductive organs, one of them a handle and the other a fire extinguisher.
Whichever of those fantasies this erotic game is trying to create, unnhh! Putting out the fire takes a few minutes, and while you're doing it, the only thing natives can do is throw rocks at the strange flying machine stealing their lunch. And just like you'd expect, a rock is no match for a helicopter dangling a naked man with a groin that can put out forest fires.
The actual rescue is simple, but your only reward is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it animation of a half-monster woman sixty-nining you. There's no reason to And if riding out of the jungle biting on the end of a man's unit didn't give you a good indication of how smart this woman is, it takes this dumbass all of three seconds to find her way from your face back to the native people's cooking pot to start the whole ordeal over.
The Yakyuken Special is a complicated game. First you select from a stable of cute Japanese girls to play Rock-Paper-Scissors against. Actually, "cute" isn't the right word for all of them. Some of these girls are at least half donkey. After you pick one, she politely gives her name, measurements and age, and then challenges you to Rock-Paper-Scissors.
If you win, she removes a piece of clothing. Then there's a video of her dancing. But not a sexy, stripper dance. All the girls dance like adorable bouncing princesses. Listen very carefully! Run away from the man with the camera--run away as fast as you can! Of course, this is a game from Japan. We should just be happy that an octopus demon didn't slither into the room and take a crap on her forehead. When guys write to me saying stuff like Hey men I need to get laid so bad what should I do?
But this kind of confidence and ability to create what you want takes time. I know you want to know how to get laid fast. Think about your pet dog. It will never get laid in its life. At least you can have the opportunity to learn how to increase your chances of getting laid by applying the information in this article. And you can attract beautiful women into your life.
However, you got to put in the work. Which means working on yourself — outside and inside — and also talking to girls in real life.
A lot of it comes down to going for the sex with women you meet, making the sex amazing when you have it, putting yourself in positions to meet women, and raising your status. If you raise your sexual market value and take the necessary steps, then you can get laid more. Yes, it takes effort and work. Women can get sex whenever they want and men have to work for it. Instead, make your situation better and figure out how to get laid fast and more often with the methods here that work best for you.
Become a Rebel! Subscribe to the news letter and stay up to date with all of the latest articles. I only send 1 email a week, recapping the new content and sharing my thoughts. No spam or endless bullshit. I do say that article was very inspiring and uplifting. Looking forward to the next writing. Totally Awesome!! Thanks, Todd. I was young and made that mistake with Tina. Everything he wrote here is true. Thanks a million buddy, This article was very straightforward genuine and informative, I will follow your rules, You know your stuff.
Filling out crap…endless never getting laid quite frankly….. I quit. Online dating is easy as hell right now if you have good pictures. Most guys have shit pictures or all selfies. Live in or near a city, have good pictures of you living life, and have your choice of women. Make a better profile … Read more ». Share 0. Tweet 0. Join the rebellion. You may also like. How to Manifest Anything using the Law of Attraction 3 steps.
Notify of. Oldest Newest Most Voted. Inline Feedbacks. TCH ain't one Agree 6 Disagree 0. Skerj d ago I used to date a chick who hated games because she said her ex spent more time playing Halo 1 and 2 than paying attention to her.
KidMakeshift d ago Edited d ago Yes, getting her flat out drunk always helps You should know about about this Samuel L. Jackson Agree 2 Disagree 0. Skerj d ago Actually the alcohol is for me, she can buy her own. Agree 2 Disagree 0. KidMakeshift d ago I just played that and Double Switch a few nights ago. Agree 0 Disagree 0. Cyrus d ago Love Samuel L. Cyrus d ago LOL i think some are taking this "Article" too seriously, it's meant to be taken as joke. Skerj d ago I don't know man, I've seen a lot of chicks who play MMOs, they could take up 2 parts of a threesome themselves.
Cyrus d ago Ughh Bastard d ago You mean this may attract nerds to nerds right? Agree 0 Disagree 6. Skerj d ago Dude, you're on N4G too calling other people nerds and geeks? Agree 5 Disagree 0. RecSpec d ago Well Skerj, I think he's just trying to hide the fact he is about to go out and buy all the games on this list. Skerj d ago Edited d ago Lmfao dude I was laughing so hard from that. RecSpec d ago Edited d ago Although if using games only is the only way. B Man d ago who the hell comes up with these articles?
Bastard d ago 9 reasons why you will never get laid geeks and nerds, that includes, sherj and recspec losers haha. Cyrus d ago LOL you guys destroyed the boys dream Skerj d ago Sherj sucks!! Cyrus Hahahaha Axe!! Stapler d ago Edited d ago You seem to be the only one amused by your insults, that's pretty sad if you ask me.
Cyrus d ago But obviously that's not as fun as beating the pants off her ; in a game of Guitar hero or something else along those lines! Cyrus d ago No doubt, and I agree with you, I think this list was made in a good fun. Awesomeo d ago yea these games arent gonna get u laid at all worst and most pointless list ever Agree 1 Disagree 0. LJWooly d ago Bubbles to everyone on this thread for being so damn funny.
Mattearl d ago Playing video games probably isn't the best thing to do sorry Cyrus d ago Yeah but who wears the school girl uniform, you or the girl? Salvadore d ago Nothing wrong with switching roles :p Agree 0 Disagree 0.
Maddens Raiders d ago be careful that you don't get electrocuted and remember to "take a break. Cyrus d ago Like I said above, master all the games, show the girlies your awesome gaming skillz, and look out, the girls will be on you, like your wearing Axe! Gish d ago Although I don't think it was the guitar hero. Mixed Related New.
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